The Comeback
by HappyBuffaloz
Summary: It's 3 years later and the P.S. 118 crew has been reunited when Arnold moves back, yet to his suprise things have changed...and so have his friends.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It was just another ordinary day in Hillwood, kids playing, an old man occasionally yelling at children for being on their lawn, yup just your average day. It was around three years later, the "crew" as I suppose you could call them are now around 13, and a certain boy with a peculiar shaped head moved away within these three years, although while others still did miss the boy, none of them missed him as much as the one and only, Helga G. Pataki.

"Oh Arnold, how I miss thee, how I hope, dream, and pray that one day my precious, sweet football-headed angel will return to me," Helga sighed, "But from what I see in the wonderful photos and letters you've sent me, you seem to be having an amazing time. Oh how selfish I feel wanting you here, when you enjoy being there so much." Helga fell back onto her bed, embracing her heart-shaped locket.

"Helga, Olga's here!" Miriam said excitedly. Helga just ignored her and continued looking into the eyes of the 10 year old football-head.

"Hello little sister, it's so great to see you!" Olga said pulling Helga into a hug. "Criminey Olga can't you knock!?" She replied, screaming it rather than asking. It didn't make a difference anyway because Olga just ignored her question anyway. "You've gotten so tall, and it looks like you've began to grow breasts." Olga said, poking at Helga's chest. Helga's cheeks began to turn red at this observation. "Criminey, Could you stop poking me!" she yelled. "Sorry little sister, it's just that it's been so long…" Olga's mind went iff somewhere else, "But I'm sorry I can't stay I just wanted to see you my family. Especially my little sister." She said, squeezing Helga once again. She was truly beginning to get annoyed, like she always did when Olga was around. Finally, Miriam came up to Helga's room to let Olga know that her new French boyfriend had arrived to pick her up. "Well I have to leave now Helga, but I promise I'll give you a makeover soon!" Olga smiled waving goodbye. "Wait, what?! No one said anything about makeovers! Olga, Olga?!"

"I love you too, little sister!"

_**"LEAVE MY FACE ALONE!"**_

* * *

**A/N**

**Huh, it seemed much longer when when I was writing it, well I guess we'll just have to work on that now won't we?**

**Anywhooo I gotta go uh, feed some buffaloz...some buffalo wingz...**

**(They'll never know...)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2~Thanks Helga**

Helga's P.O.V:

I walked outside into the cool, autumn air, and waited for the bus to arrive. I walked onto the bus being attacked by plush toys, candy, and many unmentionables." False alarm guys," Stinky yelled. The one thing I happened to catch was strangely enough, a plush aardvark. "Oh hey that's mine," Sid said reaching for the animal. I began to pout, even though I only knew the aardvark for a short amount of time, I loved it like it was my own. Sid noticed this and out of the kindness of his heart, allowed me to keep him.

I walked over to sit with Phoebe grinning, at my new friend. Phoebe gave the aardvark a questioning look, but didn't ask. Then, something hit me, why were they throwing these various items? Phoebe acknowledged this and answered, "Arnold's moving back." I felted as if my prayers were finally being answered. I had been hoping and hoping and hoping, it was finally happening. Yet, one question still tugs at me and make me hesitant about if I should be happy or not. After Arnold left, it was as if I was able to be the real me, the _nicer _me. So if this is the case, then what will happen when he comes back?

We pulled up to Hillwood Junior High, where teachers taught things that would be of absolutely no use to them. Honestly though, why would you need to know that the U.K's monarchy (the Queen) serves as a figurehead rather than the head of state if you were going to be an artist when you grew up?

I was off in space thinking about this, so I didn't notice until I felt my head hit another as I staggered back. "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention," I apologized. "It's fine, I wasn't watching where I was going either," a voice replied. That voice. I knew that voice. It was the voice I had been aching to hear all this time. It was the voice of "A-Arnold," I said, not being able to get out a full sentence. "Hey Helga, how've you been?" he asked, picking up his books. _Don't you dare say anything rude Helga G. Pataki, you've been working on being your _true_ self, don't blow it. _"Um, pretty good y'know, what about you?" I asked letting out a sigh of relief. "I've been good too, I'm really glad to see everyone again," Arnold smiled.

_Am I included in "everyone"? If I am, that means he's glad to see me, right? _These questions and many more went through my head as I replied with my best smile, "Well, we're all glad you're back too,"

We continued down the hall talking, and I must admit, I was very proud of myself for not calling him Football Head or anything else besides his actual name.

"Who do you have for homeroom?" Arnold asked, leaving my train of thought to crash. "I have Mr. Bowls," I answered.

"Cool, so do I,"

"Great I'll show you where his class is," I offered.

**" Gee, Thanks Helga."**

* * *

**A/N**

**I'm still a bit chapter length challenged I suppose, but I'll keep working on it.**

**This chapter was actually name after I finished typing so...that's why "Thanks Helga" but I was watching this JennaMarbles video a while back (She's one of mah fav youtubers, even though none of you cared) and it was something about Obama and how people would say "Thanks Obama" almost as much as people say YOLO now, so I was all like throw a little Mystical Marble power up in hurr y'know what I'm sayin?! (It's okay if ya don't I was just wondering if there was anyone else as crazy as me...no, none? ok) **

**I'm not too sure if I'm gonna be all that great at the Helga P.O.V 'cause I feel like by making her nice I took away from her character in the actual show, so don't be suprise if at one minute she's nice and the next she's all like "MOVE IT FOOTBALL HEAD!" **

**Which is why things are gonna get weird 'cause I'm really bad at naming things like the name of this fanfic "The Comeback" I was trying to be clever and stuff and I was all like 'Yo Arnold's comin' back, so THE comeback. That wasn't all the logic behind it earlier that day I was listening to The Comeback by botdf and so... Thanks Dahvie and Jayy fo' this fanfic name...Did that rhyme? **

**OHMAHBEJESUS I JUST REALIZED THAT IF I DON'T SHADDAP THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE IS GONNA BE LONGER THAN THE ACTUAL CHAPTER!**

**So on that note I've gotta go find my aardvark...**


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3~When The ****_Thing_**** Met The Demon**

**Arnold's P.O.V:**

Apparently Helga and I have all the same classes. If she was how I remembered her I would have dreaded it, but Helga's changed. Even when I would write to my friends they'd tell me Helga was nice, but I never really believed them because when I wrote to her, she never wrote back. But here she was being so nice to me.

I continued to think about this when I went into my next class to find Gerald, Sid, and Stinky there and went over to talk to them before class started. "Hey guys," I waved. "Hey, Arnold," They greeted me. "Guys shut up 'The Demon's' coming," Helga warned.

Keep in mind that Arnold was new, and knew nothing of "The Demon", who was the meanest, most horrible teachers ever. Some even say, to get his job as a teacher, he threatened to squeeze the chocolate out of our chubby little principle. Sadly, the poor, squishy little chocaholic couldn't take it, and had a heart attack, but of course before he did, hired "The Demon".

Arnold was quite confused as the entire class went silent. Mr. Demetres, better known as "The Demon", walked into the class, inspecting the room and went on into calling attendance. When he was done, Arnold realized he hadn't called his name, therefore he stupidly decided to confront him about the matter.

"Sir? You didn't call my-" "AND JUST WHO IN ALL HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SPEAKING TO ME AS THOUGH I'M ONE OF YOU'RE LITTLE 'HOME BOYS'?!" Mr. Demetres yelled.

Well I guess that explains why they call him "The Demon," he thought. "I was just going to say you didn't call me for attendance," Arnold whimpered, absolutely terrified of the man. "Well you must be the new _thing"_ 'The Demon' mumbled. Arnold, as bright as he was, was confused by this…did his history teacher, just call him a _thing? _Last time Arnold checked he wasn't a _penis, _no he indeed was certainly not, and he was most positive he wasn't a monster or an animal, so what gave the devilish man the idea that Arnold was a _thing? _

Finally, Arnold's class with the heinous "Demon" ended and he rushed out as fast as he could and noticed Gerald, Sid, Stinky, and Helga all laughing about his first impression of "The Demon". He sighed, some things will never change.

Upon Arnold's arrival the entire gang decided to sit together. Even Rhonda took time out of her _extremely busy popular schedule_ to have time for the football headed child.

Helga's P.O.V:

There's a point when I will eventually have to take a break from hearing the boys _disgusting _jokes that consisted of _being cock-blocked by aardvarks and platypuses _and I decided to take that moment to look around, and what I saw could NEVER be unseen. I noticed girls eyes aimed toward Arnold as if he were their prey, and oh, were they ready to pounce. An anger built up inside me, even though I knew I'd end up using it all on Arnold as if it was his fault. As much as I didn't want this to happen, we had had such a great day, it was just the way things were.I was brought back into the conversation by none other than the Football Head himself. "Huh?" I said not knowing what I had missed.

"Umm, well I believe Harold is raping your aardvark at the moment," Arnold said, as if it were an everyday thing.

**"HAROLD PUT DOWN THURMAN, NOW!" I cried.**

**"OHHH, BUT IT FEELS SO RIGHTT…!"**

* * *

**A/N**

**Harold, Harold, Harold, what are we to do with you. First, humping poles now Thurman...Jesus**

**Thurman got his name from the music video Situations by Escape the Fate. There's a picture of Ronnie Radke and it says 'Hello Thurman It's your first day of school" as the wallpapr on my phone so... (Children this is why you probably shouldn't ask me to name your Build-a-Bear 'cause his name will end up being something like Bernard or Jayy von Biersack...even though these names are indeed beautiful)**

**And I got the whole "The Demon" thing from reading a Black Butler fanfic and demons just come to mind. **

**For genre I put this as a funny and romantic thingy (don't worry, fluff is on the way) yes...fluff but I'm terribly sorry if this ends up being more of a perveted rather than funny kind of thing, it's just how my mind works and if you continue reading (please do I get lonely when you're not with me) you'll understand that and probably want to cuss me out it's fine I get that I want to cuss me out sometimes too. **

**Anywhore(that's how I say anywho don't judge me...) I still seem to have a problem of thinking I'm writing like a tit load and then I look over it and I'm like 'really that's it?' I'll keep working on that I promise **

**But I've gotta go and wash a certain plush aardvark (Harold when I get my hands on you...)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4~Changes **

Arnold's P.O.V:

I've been here for about two weeks and Helga and I are getting along quite well. I'm not sure what's wrong with me because I've been thinking that for a really long time now. I just hope it lasts.

Helga's P.O.V:

So far I've been very nice to Arnold and I have to admit, I'm pretty proud of myself. The only problem is all these _sluts _they keep throwing themselves at him and he doesn't even seem to notice.

_But that's Arnold for you, and that's the way I like him, _I thought.

I got on to the bus with Thurman, looking left and right, making sure Harold wasn't going to repeat the horrible things he did before at lunch. Poor Thurman was still scarred from that unfortunate event!

I got to me and Phoebe's seat to find it empty and to see Phoebe sitting with her new boyfriend, better known as Gerald. I ignored this and sat down feeling happy for my best friend since I was the one to set them up with each other, with a little help from a certain boy with a head that resembled a football.

Speaking of Arnold, he soon got on the bus to see Phoebe sitting in his seat which was shared with Gerald. He smiled at this also feeling happy for his best pal. Therefore he asked to sit with Helga, who of course, allowed him to.

They talked about the strangest of things, like how baby koala bears ate their mother's poop because they can't digest anything else really. Or how Curly was actually quite the looker now, but was too cocky, so girls didn't really like him. The subject of Curly being _hot_ however, made Arnold a bit awkward, but Helga was able to fix this by changing the subject to that some platypuses can be poisoness. Sadly, this led to Sid screaming pussy all the way to the school.

Arnold's P.O.V:

Soon enough it was time for my least favorite class of the day: Mr. Demetres' History Class. It was simply because he's the only teacher that doesn't like me, plus he was terrifying. Therefore, I keep quiet in his class, but even though he's _always _angry, he seemed even more angry than usual. I didn't think it was possible, but here he was angrier than ever. I must be having bad luck today because I looked in my book bag and my pencil was nowhere to be found. "Hey Helga, can I borrow a pencil?" I whispered as quietly as I could, but "The Demon" must have super hearing because apparently he heard me.

"ARNOLD WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO MS. PATAKI?! IF YOU WANTED TO FLIRT YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BEFORE YOU GOT IN HERE BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT! IHOPE YOU KNOW THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING YOU LITTLE SON OF A—"

The bell rang and was surprisingly louder than "The Demon's" last word. Our friends were laughing at the football headed boys second mistake made in "The Demon's" territory aka the classroom from hell.

After Arnold's first day everything went back to normal, Rhonda would only talk to them in the hall, Brainy at his lunch in the computer lab etc. This was just how it was. Arnold, Phoebe, Helga, and Gerald decided to move away from the perverted jokes being told by yours truly, Sid.

For some strange reason though, Arnold can almost never seem to take his eyes off of Helga. _Maybe it's because she looks different, _he thought. This was true, Helga grew out of her pigtails and wore her hair down and she traded her pink dress for a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt. He continued observing the changes in Helga when his thoughts were interrupted by Sid.

**"Hey Arnold, are you starin' at Helga's tits?"**

**Arnold's face turned a deep red at this comment, but Sid got his punishment and was left with a red mark on his face that probably wouldn't leave for forever and a year to be exact.**

* * *

**A/N **

**Seriously you just don't even know how many times I had to double check my Hey Arnold facts that I know with Wikipedia. **

**But gawd Sid why are you following where Arnold's eyes were going that means you were staring at Helga's tits too! (Forreal do ain't nobody was sturrin at titties okurr) **

**the koala bear fact was true baby koala bears eat their mother's shit. I learned that from this guy in my AP Social Studies class and of course he'd be the one to know that because he wears chicken shit chapstick (I'm dead serious he showed it to us)**

**And so was the platypus one I'm just not sure if that's a different type of platypus or...?**

**I'm not quite sure where I got the whole Mr. Demetres thng from I just knew there had to be a bitchy teacher**

**And now I gotta go milk a platypus**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4~Arnold Loves Helga**

Helga's P.O.V:

It's been about a month since Arnold came back, and I've been able to keep the old me that would have called him "Football Head", bottled up. The only problem is that, well basically Arnold has bitches. He doesn't even seem to notice though, which makes the girls throw themselves at him even more. It's driving me insane on the inside, but maybe it'll die down once he's not a new.

Arnold's P.O.V:

Gerald spent the weekend with me, and we were sitting in my room talking. Soon enough my thoughts had drifted off to Helga. That was happening quite a bit lately, although I can't quite figure out why. _It's probably because she's changed so much, _I would often think to myself. I continued thinking over this when Gerald crashed my train off thought.

"Arnold, Arnold?" Gerald called my name while waving his hand in my face. At this time I was still in "Helga Mode", and decided to ask about Helga.

Gerald apparently noticed my curiosity about her, and caught on quickly.

"Arnold, do you by any chance _like _Helga?" Gerald asked.

Of course Arnold liked Helga, she was nice to him, funny, and a good person to be around, especially when Sid was being _extra _perverted.

"Yeah, she's a good friend," Arnold smiled. "NO man, I mean _like like_," Gerald replied.

Arnold had to think about this himself, he wasn't all that sure about Gerald's accusation being correct or not. _Maybe that's why I'm almost always thinking about her, _Arnold thought.

Finally he came to the conclusion that he did in fact _like like_ Helga G. Pataki.

"Yeah, yeah I _do like like_ Helga," he said, positive that the words coming out of his mouth weren't lies.

Gerald got hype when he heard his friend confess to _like liking_ the girl who was mean to Arnold from day one. He jumped around the room screaming, "Arnold loves Helga."

Pookie heard this, as well as the next few blocks, and came into Arnold's room.

"Silent soldiers, the Lil' Waynes are attacking, and although they're small, we mustn't underestimate them," she warned the boys. Then, went on down the hall.

"She does know that Lil' Wayne's a rapper right?" Gerald whispered. "I think it's because she saw him on TV and thought he was an evil alien," Arnold replied.

After a very short moment of silence, Gerald began to sing:

"Arnold and Helga sittin' in a tree,"

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"First comes love, then comes sex, then come a-a…"

"Dammit I can't think of anything that rhymes, but one thing I know for sure is that it ends with you knocking up Helga," Gerald snickered.

**Arnold responded, "I will beat the shit out of you with a single Dorito…and I ****_promise _****you won't live."**

* * *

**A/N**

**This chapter is especially short and I apolgize for that, but my mom dragged me to my little sister's softball game and I was writing this chapter on my phone, but it froze and deleted the whole thing, so I had to wait until I got home, but I was so excited because I stocked up on Pocky and got volume one of Domo on dvd so...Very sorry. **

**Honestly though it would've been longer if it wasn't 2:40 in the morning oh my Bejesus I just...am terribly sorry, you can beat the shit out of me with a Dorito...I deserve it, but aside from that Pookie doesn't seem to understand this generation's music, considering her ****_fear_**** of Lil' Wayne. **

**But really though you could see Pookie doing Gangnam Style too, couldn't you?**

**And now I've got to go bathe a certain Dorito**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6~ Arnold's Got Bitches**

That Monday Gerald promised to hook Arnold up with Helga to thank you for hooking him up with Phoebe, and simply because he was his best friend. Although Arnold was happy, he didn't really know how Helga would respond to this, even if she did confess her love for him, but that was 3 years ago, and he couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or was caught up in the moment. So he sat down next to Helga on the bus that day, deep in thought, looking very constipated.

But their conversation carried on as it usually would, and they were at school soon.

Gerald, Arnold, Phoebe, and Helga were walking to homeroom, and while Phoebe and Helga were talking, Gerald and Arnold were having a little conversation themselves.

"Did you ask her yet?" Gerald asked in a hushed tone, to make sure the girls didn't hear him. "No, not yet I'm kind of nervous about what she'll say," Arnold replied.

They walked into homeroom behind the girls, and Gerald pushed Arnold into Helga and gave him a thumbs up.

"Oh, uh, sorry Helga," Arnold blushed. He was so nervous, he felt like he was about to piss his pants. "It's cool," Helga smiled. _Wow, she has a beautiful smile,_ Arnold thought, then remembered his reasoning for being pushed into her.

"So, um I was kind of, uh wondering if maybe you would," Arnold was sweating now. "Yes?" Helga asked confused. "Well, would you be my girlfriend?" Arnold gave her a hopeful smile.

So many thoughts were going through Helga's head when he said this. _Is he playing a joke, Are my wildest dreams finally coming true? _These questions and many more went through her head. She finally came to some senses and realized she hadn't given him an answer yet. Oh, how she wanted to say yes, but nothing would come out. Therefore, she pulled him into a hug.

Arnold and Helga had hugged before, but only when they were joking around. This, on the other hand was a _real_ hug. When they finally let go of each other, Arnold was first to break the silence. "S-so is that a yes?" Arnold asked. Helga still couldn't find her voice, so she answered with a nod of her head.

Arnold was _seriously_ about to piss himself now, but this time out of joy. He felt his heart flying into Helga's hands. He could already see her walking down the aisle, him and Gerald having a double wedding. These thoughts were still going through his mind when he felt something wet in his pants. He _literally_ pissed of joy.

The whole class laughed as Helga took his hand and walked him to the nurse to get a change of pants.

It was all a blur. He couldn't quite remember the events that happened before he drowned in laughter.

After he changed he and Helga walked to their creative writing class together. When they walked in all eyes were on them as Helga explained to Ms. Clarson why they were so late. Helga then took her seat next to her friend, Phoebe. "Did you say yes to Arnold?" Phoebe asked. Helga didn't remember telling her about what occurred during homeroom, then she hypothesized something. "Did you and Gerald set Arnold and me up?" she asked. Phoebe gave her a small smile.

There was a small spark of anger inside of Helga, but was defeated by happiness. She returned Phoebe's smile, and decided to pay attention to Ms. Clarson. "For this assignment I will be choosing your partners, and when everyone has a partner I'll actually tell you what your assignment is," she explained. "Rhonda, you will be with Curly. Sid will be with Stinky. Phoebe and Gerald. Eugene and Lila." This went and for while until Helga heard her name being called. "And Helga will be with Arnold," Ms. Clarson finished, "Now that that's settled, please take a seat next to your partner."

"Hi," Arnold smiled. "Hey," Helga returned his smile.

"Your assignment will be to write a narrative of at least five pages about an animal of your choice, it is to be a fictional story, but you will also need to include true facts, and write down a paper's worth of information about your animal. Don't forget to incl—"

The bell cut her off, and everyone left the room in a flash.

Now was the time for Arnold's least favorite class, Mr. Demetres' History Class, but he was too happy to let that get to him. Surprisingly enough, the class went by without him getting yelled at.

Helga and Arnold walked to lunch with their hands intertwined, Helga getting nasty looks and fingers her way from various girls who liked Arnold, but she didn't let this get to her, she wanted them all to know that he was hers, and_ only_ hers. "So Helga gave you some ass, and you knocked her up, you're stuck with her now, aren't you?" Sid joked, earned himself a punch in the stomach from a certain girl that was head over heels in love with a boy with a peculiar shaped head.

Lunch went on as it usually would, but was interrupted on occasion with girls asking questions concerning Arnold's non singleness. "Damn Arnold you got _bitches!" _Sid exclaimed, as another girl attempted at flirting with Arnold. When she heard he wastaken, Sid took this opportunity to try to get a bitch. "Hey well you know I'm Arnold's _best_ friend so…" Sid said grinning. The girl lightened up at hearing this but the moment was cut short when a certain boy with extremely tall hair smacked Sid in the back of the head with a lunch tray, knocking him out said:

**"Don't use****_ my best friend_**** as way to bitches..."**

* * *

**A/N**

** Well the moral of the story is don't fuck with Gerald's title as Arnold's best friend...**

**I'll try to post a chapter or two everyday, but just probably not this week because I have to take the CRCT and Monday's is science (probably my worst subject) so I gots to be studyin' mah ass off y'know?**

**But I'll try to I promise...I don't have much to say...**

**I've gotta go clean up a a certain peculiar headed boy's piss so...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7~Are You Grape Or Apple Jelly?**

Our lovely couple has been going out for only a week now, but were getting closer by the millisecond. Although many girls were still giving Helga shit for "stealing their man", when _obviously _he was hers. She just stuck a certain finger up and moved on, but of course she was just a _little _jealous, even though she wouldn't admit this to herself.

Our favorite football headed boy on the other hand was oblivious to all the girls in their slutty outfits trying to get his attention. Because of course, his eyes were _always _on Helga.

"Hello Helga, it's been ever so long since I've seen you," Lila greeted Helga. "Yeah I heard you were really sick," Helga replied with a worried look on her face. "Oh yes, but that is besides the point! From what I've heard you're dating Arnold?" she asked. "Oh, yeah," Helga blushed, still unable to grasp the fact that she was finally with someone she loved.

"Well I am just ever so happy for you!" Lila exclaimed, pulling Helga into a hug. Helga heard whispers from behind her. She turned around to see a few girls behind her smiling. "Hi Helga," the first one said, all too politely.

"Hi, did you need something?" she asked staying on her guard. "Oh, nothing, it's just that we heard that Julia was talking to Arnold.

Helga didn't recall knowing anyone by the name of Julia, but of course she was curious. "Umm, and who's Julia?" she asked casually.

"Just this girl…that has a _major _crush on Arnold, and just so happens to be Rhonda's _best _friend." The second girl smirked.

So she was "popular". That wasn't at all a problem, but when she saw a picture of this _Julia_, she realized she may have some competition.

After finishing her conversation with the girls, Helga and Lila parted ways.. Helga was walking to a certain demon-like teacher's class, she noticed a certain girl named Julia throwing herself at a certain football headed boy.

Helga didn't talk to that boy for the rest of the day.

Arnold put Helga through hell that night. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore, she cut herself until she couldn't even feel the sting of it anymore, she screamed until her voice gave out. To make matters worse, she had no one to talk to. Phoebe was out with Gerald , Miriam was passed out in the bathroom, and Big Bob was gone on business. She was alone. So she dried her tears, and let her anger grow. That night she decided she would put _him _through the hell he put her through.

Arnold was quite concerned about Helga that day. She hadn't talked to him at all, and every time he tried to talk to her she would say, "Fuck off Football Head I'm trying to work."

Gerald said she was probably just on her period, but it felt like there was more behind the story.

"Helga, did I do something?" Arnold asked as they sat down at the lunch table.

Helga just wanted to get things straight, so she could stop feeling so anxious. Therefore, she ignored his question and asked, "Do you like Julia?"

Arnold was confused at this question at first, but quickly remembered the event that occurred the day before. "No, I could never like someone like her," he answered.

Helga wasn't quite satisfied with his answer, "Why not?" she asked.

"Well because," Arnold had to think of the right words, or he would see being thrown into the dumpster in his future, "Because she's not you," he grinned.

Helga knew he was telling the truth and playfully punched him on they arm.

Apparently Sid was there this entire time, underneath the table. He popped out and asked,

**"So were you apple or grape jelly?"**

**Helga replied quickly,**

**"I will end your life even faster than you cum."**

* * *

**A/N **

**Sorry that it's a super short chapter, I'm still working on that.**

**I've got a feeling there's gonna be lots of fluff in these next few chapters(sorry guys)**

**Tomorrow's my last day of CRCT testing(thank Gawd) so I'll be posting chapters more often hopefully. Heh heh bringin' Lila into the equation that ****_is _****this fanfic. I really don't have that much left to sa...oh ait this guy stole my Sleeping W/ Sirens shirt like really he wore it today and I was gonna wear it tomorrow but since he wore it first...anyway if ya like Sleeping w/ Sirens uhh...that's cool. But Arabrab83 thanks for giving me the power of your amazing luck for the science crct I thank ya sooo much and I like love all yall mofos**

**So I have to go buy some jelly...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8~Whores Get Paid**

Two days later, things were still the same, Arnold getting hit on, Helga getting shit said about her, Sid making perverted jokes, everything was the way it always was. Until that 3 minutes in between classes.

Helga was walking to math with Lila, when she just so happened to run into our little _friend,_ Julia. "Hi, Helga!" Julia greeted her. "Hey," Helga replied, uninterested.

"So…how are you and Arnold?" she asked.

"Fine, why do you ask?" Helga wondered aloud.

"Nothing in particular, it's just that I saw him talking to some other girl," Julia smirked.

Helga knew this game, and she wasn't going to let Julia win. She wanted Helga's anger to be used on Arnold, but that wasn't going to happen. She got angry, not at Arnold talking to another girl, but at what Julia was trying to do. This anger built up inside her at the speed of light, and put it all into her fist. It didn't make it to Julia's face though, Lila gave her a look that said "It's not worth it". Slowly, Helga unclenched her fist.

"What, were you planning on beating _me _up?" Julia laughed, "_Bitch please, _you don't have the _balls." _Julia was rolling on the floor laughing now. When she finally got back up, Julia slapped Helga. It wasn't that much of a slap kind of like a pat on the cheek, but nonetheless, it was a slap.

Julia didn't really know Helga, so she didn't quite understand that if you fuck with Helga or her friends, you might as well say goodbye to your life.

It all happened so fast, but to put it short, Helga _almost _beat the shit out of Julia.

The principle caught the end of this fight, luckily he only saw Julia take the last hit.

Of course, our girls were sent to Mr. Kraler's office, to discuss the little falling out. "Girls, would either one of you like to explain to me what happened?" the principle asked. There was an eternity of silence. "Well I guess it all started when Julia called me a bitch, then slapped me," Helga answered. This was indeed true, these two events led up to Helga actually throwing a punch at the girl.

"Sir, she's lying I swear!" Julia exclaimed.

"Well I think I'm going to go with Helga, she's not in here nearly as much as you," Mr. Kraler sighed.

They continued their conversation until Mr. Kraler came to the conclusion that they would both have ISS for two weeks.

"Thanks a lot you little whore, now I've got ISS," Julia scolded Helga.

**Helga smirked, "No I'm not a whore, because you see whores get ****_paid,"_**

* * *

**A/N**

**Sorry I had to cut this chapter super short mah mama kept bitchin' y'know?**

**Anyway I've known that I haven't really made Helga much like, well Helga. And a comment from Nep2uune made me realize this especially because she said that she was suprised that Helga didn't beat her up in the last chapter I think it was. So Hey Arnold all weekend for mel Gotta get back into "Helga Mode".**

**Anyway I Love All Yall Beautiful Aardvarks, But I Gotta Go Make Some Chicken For The Buffaloz**


	9. Chapter 9

**Harro, umm yeah I don't own Hey Arnold man, cause if I did that show would still be coming out with new episodes y'know what I be sayin'!?**

* * *

**Chapter 9~ Control Your Bitch!**

After 3 days of being in a room with some of the most annoying people ever, Helga was finally out of ISS and was allowed to go back to her usual schedule.

**_The next day…_**

We were all gathered around a couple of desks in homeroom talking about the usual things, and of course Sid made his perverted jokes.

"Hey, what are we gonna do for Halloween?" Gerald asked. Helga had totally forgotten Halloween was that Friday. "Well, why don't we take a _lovely_ little visit to the strip club?" Sid suggested, earning him glares from most of the girls and a punch in the arm from Helga. "Well I guess the strip club's out of the question," Harold mumbled.

"How about we go to that old closed down candy shop?" Gerald thought aloud. "What's so great about an old candy shop?" Helga snorted. Gerald then went into story mode.

"Well, you see the man that owned the candy shop was making his homemade taffy late at night, the day before Halloween for his big candy sale—," "Mmm, taffy…" Harold interrupted, getting a look from Gerald that said 'interrupt me again and those will be the last words you say'. "Anyway," Gerald continued. "He was just about to finish making the taffy when his son jumped out and stabbed him to death, and finished making the taffy and added his father's blood to it. They say his father still roams the candy shop taking revenge one anyone that intrudes his candy shop." Gerald finished, getting a round of applause from his friends.

"I-I don't think that's gonna be fun. W-why don't we just go to the strip club," Stinky stuttered. "Enough with the damn strip club!" Helga slammed her hands onto her desk. "She just doesn't wanna go 'cause she thinks Arnold's gonna leave her for some whore," Sid snickers, "Hell, if I was him I would," Stinky responded. Helga then bitch slapped the both of them, leaving a red mark on both of their faces.

"Oww, Arnold control your bitch!" Sid exclaimed, holding his cheek.

"First of all, she's not my bitch, she's my girlfriend and second of all, you guys deserved it." Arnold sighed.

Helga knew what she was to Arnold, his girlfriend, but when she actually heard him say it, she was on cloud nine.

"So, on that note, we're going to the candy shop?" Phoebe asked.

**"Man, I think we should just go to the strip club, seriously we could all get bitches. Plus candy shops are for pussies." Sid sighed, trying to prove his point, but instead getting bitch slapped once again by Helga.**

**"Seriously Arnold, you gots to control that bitch!"**

* * *

**A/N**

**Oh mah glob, sowwie it's been so long I was determined to start writing again after school was out, but I was grounded for the first two weeks of summer 'cause parents be bitchin'**

**Anywhore I'm gonna try to write everyday if possible to catch up 'cause man it's just...Pina Colada**

**Well I love you sexy ass aardvarks, but I gotta go feed some buffaloz, and a very happy Hunny...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Just to let ya'll beautiful creatures know, I don't own Hey Arnold.**

**Chapter 10~Kevin** **Hart's** **In** **Town**

* * *

A few days later, Friday finally came and everyone was excited, except of course a certain 13 year old boy who's name rhymed with  
Marold (Harold in case you were thinking of Arnold, I don't know why, but for 0.2 of a second I thought of Arnold)

Harold would have preferred to go to a strip club, or even trick-or-treating, but sadly him and his friend's were standing outside of none other than Mr. Monroe's Candy Shop.

"Here it is," Arnold announced, trying to open the door. "I'd still rather be watchin' bitches shake their asses," Sid mumbled, earning a glare from Phoebe. "Guys, it's locked," Gerald said, while trying to turn the knob. "Oh move outta the way Geraldo," Helga shoved him out of the way and fumbled with the knob, and not even two seconds later, they were all walking inside.

"Wow Helga, where'd you learn to do that?" Arnold said, amazed by how fast she picked the lock. "How about we save that story for another day?" Helga suggested.

Harold was already chowing down on the candy in the shop, while no one was looking.

"Harold, you fatass! That candy's probably been in here forever!" Helga snapped, once they started walking around. "I'm sorry the chocolate was just calling my-" Harold was cut off by a loud cackle. "W-what was that?" Stinky stuttered, terrified. "Man, I knew we should've went to the strip club!" Sid exclaimed, slightly shivering. "Criminey guys it was probably just some people laughing, there _is_ a comedy club right next to us!" Helga explained. "Hell, I don't know who coulda made 'em laugh that hard...Kevin Hart's not in town is he?" Gerald pondered aloud.

Lights were flickering on and off in the back of the shop.

"Hey, what's going on back there?" Phoebe asked.

They all walked to the back, Harold the very last to go in. Suddenly, all the lights went out.

"Ahh!" Harold screamed and literally shit his pants. "Jesus, Harold calm down!" Gerald exclaimed, holding his nose.

Harold started sobbing, "I-I'm sorry, maybe that chocolate was bad..." he thought. In unison the rest of the gang yelled,"NO SHIT!"

They were silently investigating after that when they heard the cackle again followed by a sneeze.

Gerald and Helga then followed this noise, flashlight in hand, to find none other than Curly, with a very red and snotty nose.

"What the actual FUCK, Curly!" Sid exclaimed.

Curly stood up from his spot behind a counter and replied, "That's what you get when you don't invite me to come with you!" He pointed. "And I would've gotten you really good, if the ghost costume I ordered would've gotten here on time!" Curly declared.

"Curly, we did invite you, but when we called you're mom said you couldn't come 'cause you were sick," Arnold sighed, rubbing his temples. "Ohh..." Curly said, finally understanding.

"Well, I guess our little field trip here is over, how about we make a visit to the strip club?" Sid suggested as they left the candy shop. Curly's mom got there just in time and dragged Curly to the car.

They suddenly heard the cackle again as they began to pass the comedy club. This made everyone jump, everyone except Gerald and Sid.

"Aww shit! Kevin Hart really is in town!" Gerald exclaimed.

"Yeah and there's a tit load of hot bitches in there!" Sid replied.

Because of Helga, Sid wasn't heard from for 5 hours straight.

* * *

**A/N**

**Heh, I love Kevin Hart. Also, I named the candy shop after Jayy von Monroe, 'cause 1: I LOVE Blood on the Dance Floor and 2: I couldn't think of anything else. I'm staying with my grandma for a couple of weeks, so I may or may not be updating that much, but I'll try. I wrote this chapter on my phone sorry if it has any mistakes. **

**I finally got the new Sleeping With Sirens album and it's amazin' baybay. If you don't listen to them you should and maybe you should listen to Black Veil Brides...I got my grandma to listen to Jinxx's violin solo and she love it... **

**Anywhore, this chapters pretty short I'm gonna try to make them longer I swear! **

**All because I love you precious aardvarks, almost as much as I love Dahvie Vanity...**

**Yeah... I better go.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Still don't own Hey Arnold! know whad I'm sayin'?!**

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**Chapter 11~Nigga****_ What?!_**

It was just another ordinary day for the gang, Helga sat on the bus with Phoebe and her aardvark Thurman, and of course Sid and Stinky were making disgusting jokes in homeroom. Everything was as it should have been, until science.

Mr. Torres was pretty much everyone's favorite teacher. He was funny and didn't really give a fuck. But today, that changed for Helga Geraldine Pataki.

Walking into science with the gang, Helga was the first to notice what the next standard in science was…The reproduction of humans. Even Sid and Stinky were terrified of what was to come.

Once the bell rung, Mr. Torres skipped into the class, clearly he was quite amused by our faces.

"Good mornin' little cray cray scientists!" he exclaimed. The room stayed silent. "Well I guess you already know what we're gonna be learning about?" Silence was the only reply he received until a certain perverted fother mucker decided to raise his hand. "Yes, Sid" Mr. Torres asked.

"Yeah, so like, are we gonna watch porn or some shit?"

Sid earned laughter from all of the boys, the girls just replied with a look of disgust.

"Umm well we're gonna be watching videos today with some ahem, ssexxuall shiznit if ya catch mah drift," Mr. Torres answered.

Soon enough, the boys and girls were separated, the girls watching the head of a small child come out of a vagina, and the boys watching the before action of babies.

Finally, science was over, but sadly it was time for none other than Mr. Demetres' history class.

"Hey ya dumb shits today we're gonna talk about the cold war. Can any of you stop thinking about puttin' your dicks in some bitch's pussy and tell me what it is?" he asked.

Arnold ignored his lovely greeting and raised his hand. "Yes ya little oddly headed thing?"

They'd been through this the first day Arnold started going to Hillwood Junior High, he _wasn't a penis!_He decided it would be best to ignore this too and answer his question. "It was between the Soviet Union and the United States." He answered. "Good, so your brain's not just full of shit…" 'The Demon' mumbled. Soon enough, they were out of "The Demon's" lair and in the cafeteria.

"So what did you guys watch in science?" Stinky asked Helga and Phoebe.

Helga made a traumatized face as she remembered, "Birth." She simply said and hugged Thurman tighter.

"Did your dreams of watching pornography come true?" Phoebe asked while comforting Helga.

"Yeah, but I think it was made in like the 80s…" Sid's voice trailed off. "Why would you think that?" Arnold asked. "Cause that bitch didn't shave shit!" Stinky exclaimed. "Yeah! If I gotta shave my balls my hoe better shave dem pubes!" Harold exclaimed, earning high fives from most of the guys.

"Arnold, mah nigga you bet—"

"Hold up…**_Nigga what_**?" Gerald cut Sid off.

"Oh shit, sorry Gerald I just thought it was cool since me and you are and uhh…yeah sorry," Sid apologized.

"It's coo' nigga." Gerald responded with his arms crossed.

"But forreal do' Arnold, make sure Helga she dat shit befo' you be tryna hit,"

"Sid…just…don't" Arnold sighed.

"Oh so you mean she already shaves? Dat means she's probly already had nig…I mean motha fuggaz up in derr y'know?"

**"Bitch!" Gerald yells, slapping Sid out of his seat.**

**"Nigga ya ain't black,"**

**For once Helga didn't have to do the punishing of Sid.**

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hayy sowwie it's been soo long, new school year beats down a nigga y'know? I'll try to make more new chapters though.**

**So the science teacher is named after Dahvie Vanity mainly 'cause I came up with off of the top of my head plus, Blood on the Dance Floor's new album just came out and it was his birthday on the 5th.**

**Ermahgerd did you guys miss Thurman?! I had to clean him like ten times just to make sure since Harold's a sick fuck that's into some weird shit...**

**Anywhore today I watched that Craig Bartlett interview and was inspired to write Nickelodeon a letter, then I remembered...I gotz a Hey Arnold! fanfic to write and what notz so...yup**

**I hope you guys know I love you an ass ton and a tit load and if you hate me for bein' gone for like 3 months I'll give you the gift of being allowed to say nigga...since I'm black and stuff**

**Anywhore gotta go and talk to a certain science teacher about a certain tall blue haired guy(Jayy von Monroe in case ya didn't know) SHIT THAT RHYMED xD**


End file.
